Unfriend Mr. & Mrs. Jones

In this world we live in today, with Facebook, Twitter and a host of other social media outlets, one of two things usually happens. Either someone wants to set the record for the number of friends they have or once they get to a point where they have a ton of friends, they start being selective about which friends they listen to or “follow.” It really is ok to unfriend someone who you no longer associate with.

When I was in so much debt that I was wondering if I was going to be able to keep my house (see the About page), I could care less about what other people had versus what I did not have. Sure, it bothered me when I would see people who seemed to have it all and I was struggling but I certainly did not care one bit if my house needed a minor repair. Instead, I was totally focused on making sure I had enough money to pay the mortgage and the rest of my pile of bills and late notices.

If I am saddled with too much debt, then I need to stop the bleeding first. Does it matter which kind of car I have if I cannot pay for it? In 2002, when I was newly divorced, I was driving a 1989 Ford Taurus station wagon. I was putting one quart of oil and two gallons of water in the car every day just to get back and forth to work. I had an eight mile commute each way. If I got stuck at a red light, I would either turn the car off or pull into a parking lot and shut it down. I tried my best to stay away from the downtown area where I would have to stop and go all the time with traffic lights or stop signs. Instead, I stayed on the highway to get back and forth to the store. You see, the radiator fan had gone out for the third time and had not been fixed. There were so many leaks in the seals that I would constantly be adding another layer of oil to the roads. I could not afford to buy another car. My accounts were frozen because of the divorce, and anyone I asked for a loan just laughed. Pretty humbling.

What is it about the Jones’ that gets to people so much? Are we afraid of looking “less than” if we do not have the latest gadget? When it comes to a choice between paying a bill and putting food on the table, I am going to eat first. Sure my credit score was around 350 or so but that happened during my marriage, not because of the things I had been doing since the divorce. No one in the house had a cell phone. We had Internet service but it was the $9.95 per month version and frankly, most of the time, it did not work like we wanted it to.

Seems our society is engrained in the idea that delayed gratification is for sissies. What I have learned over the years is that if we have just a little self-control, and can save those pennies like I mentioned in the post “Can You Spare Some Change,” then we will be able to get the things that we want without having to go into massive amounts of debt. If you already have heaps of debt, then getting those things you want might take a little longer – but that is ok! Call me a sissy if you want. I can live with that.

Try it. Try not buying anything that is not a “need” until you have the cash to do it. You can ask my wife. Life is a whole lot nicer when you don’t have to go to the mailbox and pick up bills for stuff you bought three years ago. Today, we simply complain about having to throw away the junk mail.

Oh – remember that car I was talking about. After a year, even though I had to still take out a loan, I was able to buy a used 1999 Toyota Camry. I donated the station wagon to the high school and they beat the heck out of it for their homecoming rally that year. Oh, how I wish I had a picture of that one.

Have a great week.